Heartache
by I must be nocturnal
Summary: 'Arthur had a light in his life but it was put out a long time ago' highschool AU How to I summary. This was originally on my wattpad account (princessluna159) Warring: Suicide and depression no one is happy in this. I regret this so much. Spuk (kinda) and hinted/implied Spamano


Darkness, that's all it was for miles, except the one thing he longed for. A sharp metal blade. All he had to do was end it all, the pain,the dark, the suffering. With one quick slice along his throat. He lifted the shining iron blade, put it against his neck. He could feel his pulse thumping against the cooling metal. His hands started to shake, he prepares himself for the blood and the stinging pain of the metal digging into his collar. "come on Arthur you can do this, all the hurting stops here." says as he begins to carving into his neck, as the does this he can faintly hear a beeping noise, it's like an alarm going off. That's when Arthur woke up.

As Arthur opens a eye, then turns his head out of the way of the sun coming through the window. He see's he's still in his room, the whiteness of the walls blinding. He deems his eye open long enough to turns his head and look out the window, he wishes he didn't, seeing the clear blue sky and sun shining it makes him think. It's all too perfect. Sighing and looking back up at his blank white ceiling, he could feel the tears falling down his cheeks "Of course, it was a dream, you're too scared, huh. Afraid of death, what kind of a wimp am I?." He cursed. Slowly Arthur got up and walked down the hall into the bathroom and looked into the old cracked mirror, and stared. Once bright emerald eyes which were now dull and lifeless,pale skin and wheat blonde hair. Arthur sighed as he ran a hand through his he started to get ready for school.

As he walked out his house, deliberately avoiding his father, who had hopefully sobered up and was asleep. He was now walking the pavement with his head down. His thoughts still remained on his 'dream', although they seemed to be darker each time he had them. He looked up seeing he was all most there and thinking 'another day in hell'. He could see the sign, it read 'Welcome to W academy' It was bright and colourful, happy would be the word to describe it but in reality, it was one of the darkest places you could ever set foot in. It was hell to Arthur and he can never escape. Arthur sighed yet again, he had been doing a lot of that lately. Walking through the gate and family entering the white building. Inside was a typical school corridor, white walls and the black as the people souls who dared to step in. As Arthur walked up to his locker trying to avoided people that torment him daily. People were crowding round Something, well more like someone. It was Francis

"Ahh, look everyone, it's Arthur" he wiped (although it's still loud enough for Arthur to hear) to his group of followers. "Eww, he's like so weird and a total loner," said some random large chested female to his left. "Oui, ma chérie, oh! I just remembered I 'ave somewhere to be pardon moi" the french man said excusing himself. There were some sad faces as he left but he paid no mind. The group quickly departed.

Arthur just finished getting his things out of his locker. He pushed down all the hateful words that were swimming through his head and calmed the beating of his heart as it wept in sorrow. It was working until he felt someone breathing down the back of his neck. He jumped, just to find how close they were to him. "Now, now z'ats not very nice, iz it," said someone with a strong german accent, one that Arthur recognised immediately " Gilbert, what do you want?" Arthur demanded, Gilbert spun him around and when green eyes met red, Arthur could see what he wanted

"you know 'vhat I 'vant," Gil said in a hushed but quick tone

"If you think for a minui-

"Ew, nein not like z'hat, eww"

Gilbert exclaimed, cringing at the thought. "Well, what did you mean, you son of a b-" Arthur was cut off once again, this time by a punch to the stomach. "shut up you freak!" Gilbert shouted as Arthur fell down to the floor, wincing in pain. "Gilbert you little s-" yet again Arthur was cut off, luckily it was just the bell "you're lucky z'his time freak" then gilbert ran off, probably to skip class with Matthew. Arthur got up slowly and decided he should just skip and go to the rooftop. As Arthur made his way there he started to think, ' what if I jumped?... no one would miss me anyway' while avoiding classroom windows

When he got to the roof he sat down,away from prying eyes and put his head in his hands then pulled his knees up to his chest and tried to hold his emotions back as well as the tears in his eyes. His heart was racing , his breathing unsteady and the pain building in his stomach unbearable. After a while, he found himself slipping in and out of consciousness. Closing his eyes, as the darkness of his mind breaks free and takes over his thoughts.

As he slept, memories from when he was younger, when he... was happy. His father, he was happy non-violent. Then there was h-his mother... before the accident. He had friends Francis the overly flirty Frenchman, gilbert over confident german and there was Antonio. The used to be light in his life. They had known each other since nursery, they click all most instantly. It was when they got to high school he couldn't keep his feeling hidden anymore. That was the day he made his biggest mistake, Antonio rejected him, being religious and all he thought it wasn't right. Arthur was heartbroken, Antonio told everyone. People made fun of him, punched and kicked him. Although none of this physical and verbal torment matched the pain in his heart.

Arthur was woken up by two voices. Opening his eyes realising he was on the roof then slowly remembering what happened. Holding his stomach, he got up slowly. Trying to be as quiet as he can then he looked round the corner to see who it was. It was Francis. Arthur paled and shot back round and ducked down. 'damn it. No no no anyone but him, anyone. Calm down Arthur just keep quiet' Arthur mentally screamed. "ahh, but mon ami, there is nothing wrong with loving the same gender." said the frog as Arthur likes to call him

"si... but mi familia would not accept it." Says a recognisable voice. It was Antonio... Arthur was now panicking big time. He couldn't believe what he was saying. Was he gay? No, it wasn't possible.

Francis' voice interrupted Arthur thoughts "oui I know, but they don't have to know."

" I know. What if they do find out, I don't know Francis. I love him. He is mi amor lovino a-and what if he doesn't feel the same way."

'Wait... lovino. The forever angry Italian' that broke Arthur heart further just as he thought he was slowly glueing it back together again. That just smashed it even more...

"I know, I know. If you don't tell him you'll never know" Francis broke the silence. " Gracias Francis you're right. I need to tell him. Maybe ill do it today" Antonio said with excitement nearly jumping with joy "come on then, let's go!" Francis exclaimed skipping to the stairs with Antonio following behind him with a goofy smile on his face.

Arthur was in shock, he couldn't comprehend what just happened. Antonio... loves lovino. That was only the beginning, what hit him the hardest was Antonio didn't reject him because he thought the idea of being gay was wrong, it was because he liked someone else. 'why didn't he tell me. Why did he lie?'. Arthur didn't register the tears that were falling from his eyes. He just stood up and when to the side of the roof and looked down. He didn't know what he was doing, he just heard the word 'worthless' over and over again along with 'alone forever'. The chanting kept circling round and round his head and he slowly got closer and closer to the edge. He briefly wondered if it would hurt yet he didn't care. Thinking back to his dream early, of his mother he hoping to see her again and that she would forgive him. Arthur took one deep breath, closed his eyes and took a step off the edge...

"you all knew him yet he was always alone, now we know what loneliness bring people to. Please make sure everyone in included in activities or there will be punishment enforced" The head teacher of the school concluded as he finishes his speech in front of the school. Everyone was silent. Some people shocked other in a state of confusion. They were sent back to classes and soon forgot all about it. Everyone except one person, Antonio.


End file.
